The beholder's eye

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

~ Proverbs 31:10 (NASB)

The other day I had a rather humbling experience with God on the subjects of beauty and vanity.

I was just running errands, nothing too important, when I saw a girl my age who had rather unfortunate looks. This was a field that I had lived in; I was just beginning to get over the feeling that I was somehow unforgivably hideous. Ever since elementary school, I've battled with feeling ugly or fat or simply not good enough. I never got to the point of anorexia or bulimia, but I lived underneath a big black cloud of shame. If you've been through this (and I'm sure most of us have!), you'll know that no matter how many people tell you that you're beautiful, you never believe it. When you look in the mirror, you still only see the body that you've created in your head. No amount of weight loss can change that. Neither can a new tan, copious additions to your wardrobe, or a new haircut. The only thing that can change how you perceive yourself--and beauty in general, for that matter--is by allowing yourself to be influenced by the Father Who loves you and knows that you're beautiful just the way that He created you.

So anyways. There I was, and I saw this girl. I don't really know why I prayed what I did, but I asked God to make her beautiful. She just simply didn't really have any attractive qualities. Feeling sorry for her, and also somewhat empathetic, I prayed that she would become wonderfully beautiful. Right as I was wrapping up this stupid prayer, God gently said, "But Anna, she already is."

Just a few simple words. "She already is." All that can be said for this is selah.

So while I have no idea what guys find to be truly beautiful, us girls tend to believe that beauty is found in being a size 0 with expensive clothing, perfect skin, and impeccable makeup and hair. But what about all the other girls? Are they--am I--not beautiful also? Was the girl that I prayed for--this "unattractive" girl--not beautiful?

It was then that I realized what I had already known for some time: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Our Creator sees us all as "fearfully and wonderfully made" regardless of what the world thinks. Through God's eye, His glorious, perfect eye, we are all exceedingly beautiful. After all, He purposefully made us the way we are. Yet somehow, through the world's eye--this damaged eye, always requiring glasses to see--beauty is something that only the elite are allowed to possess.

God has taught me about beauty quite well. I now no longer strive to merely look beautiful. My strife is now only in truly being beautiful in my spirit and soul.

For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.

~ 1 Timothy 4:8 (NKJV)