What does it matter?

As summer seemed to wind down this year, my family decided to have a garage sale. We all scoured our belongings, trying to find things to get rid of. While I still have a lot that could be purged, I managed to rid myself of a good amount of clutter. My parents, too, found much to sell. Among the things that my mom wanted to get rid of was a devotional called Voices of the Faithful. I had seen that my dad was reading the sequel to it, and I was curious about it.

"Why are you getting rid of this? It looks good!" I asked. The book, some 400 pages, is comprised of a daily Bible verse, prayer, and one-page story from a missionary. As an aspiring missionary, this devotional really appealed to me. Needless to say (but I'm going to say it anyways!), I saved the book from going into the garage sale.

By the time I started reading it, August was drawing to a close. Immediately I fell in love with this devotional. I don't know how those who aren't called to foreign missions would feel about it, as it probably wouldn't be that appealing to them. But I strongly recommend Voices of the Faithful to anyone who desires to be a missionary in any way, shape, or form--especially foreign missions.

So September 11th's reading began with Romans 14:8:

If we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord.

While I've read a few chapters in Romans and have skimmed most of it, I don't recall ever having read this verse before the other night. As I read it, I felt such a strange peace. If you read my post from a few weeks ago, you'd have seen that I mentioned I had been fearing death in the mission field. This verse was sent to me at just the right time!

I realized that I have something that many do not -- a firm faith in God. I can't even explain the strength and peace that this gives me!

If God be for us, who can be against us?

~ Romans 8:31 (KJV)

[See also "Our God" by Chris Tomlin -- a favorite!]

I've realized (just recently) that without God, I simply have nothing left worth living for. All that I do would be in vain. I would be wandering aimlessly, searching for meaning or truth yet I would have nothing. Honestly, if Jesus weren't on my side, and if the Holy Spirit weren't my constant companion, I would have killed myself a long time ago. I was living inside of a personal hell. I had no faith in this God that I "kinda sorta" believed in.

But now that I know what it is to be loved by and important to God, I know that the only important thing is to love God. If we do, everything else, though utter chaos, falls into place. If we allow it, God will have His way. And believe me, His way is always better for us than our way.

... His dominion is an everlasting dominion, and His kingdom is from generation to generation. All the inhabitants of the Earth are reputed as nothing; He does according to His will in the army of Heaven and among the inhabitants of the Earth. No one can restrain His hand or say to Him, “What have You done?” 

~ Daniel 4:34-35 (NKJV) 

To truly be a Christian should mean to surrender whatever little control we have over our lives to God. We really do need to let Jesus take the wheel. I choose to allow Him to do so. If I live, it is His will. If I die, it is His will. What does it even matter how I feel? What does it matter what I desire? I will follow the Lord.